noun – door·mat | \ ˈdȯr-ˌmat \
- a mat placed before or inside a door for wiping dirt from the shoes.
- one that submits without protest to abuse or indignities.
- a team that regularly finishes last.
That was me. Items one, two and three. Welcome to Doormatsville, population 1.
That was not always the case, though. In my hay day I was spunky, fun and so, so loud. I enjoyed being the center of attention and standing out in a crowd. I hated being average. I hated being ignored.
But, when you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you begin to lose. Over the course of our ten years, I allowed him to convince me that my friends and family members were trying to keep us apart and poisoning my mind. I had pushed away people I could trust, hobbies I once loved, and everything that made me who I was so I could fit into his mold of who he expected me to be. I lost friends and family members who didn’t understand. I lost jobs. I lost memories.
Finally, I lost me….